Updated: August 25, 2019
A few days ago, I asked my friends about finances and romantic relationships.
I gave them several questions that went something like, “Would you rather have money problems or love problems?” and “Which would you choose, that you have no money or no love life?”
The answers were quite interesting.
From experience, I noticed that most serious conversations among close friends are either that of money or of love.
Someone could be trying to borrow cash or venting out his financial frustrations. Or they may be sharing some love problems and seeking some relationship advise.
Try to think about it and tell me if you’d agree.
In any case, I’d like to share some of the answers I received. See if any of them would reflect your own opinion regarding this matter.
I’d rather have money problems than love problems.
The common belief among those who chose to have financial difficulties rather than relationship problems is that money problems are easier to solve.
Ed says that you can ask for money, but you can’t easily ask other people to love you. Arpee puts it in another way by saying that money can be borrowed, earned and even stolen, [but] love lost is lost forever.
Some of my friends, including Bigueña and Karen likewise agree that having money problems is better than having heartaches. A few of the other arguments presented were:
- Money doesn’t seem to matter much when you’re in love.
- Having a partner means you have someone to help you financially.
- When you’re romantically involved, you tend to be inspired in your work.
I’d rather have no love life rather than have no money.
The answers on the other side of the coin also share some common points. The number one reason being that it’s easier to live life without love rather than without money.
Micamyx and Ria both say that they’re fine with having no love life as long as their finances are okay. However, Miii gave a different reasoning by saying that she’d rather have love problems because she believes in retail therapy. So if she has no money to spend for shopping, then that’s even more sad.
Furthermore, Urbanguru shares that it’s okay to have no love life because he’s used to having none anyway (awww… ) while Poytee kiddingly argued that she’ll just buy love. Other reasons given for choosing love problems over money problems were:
- Practically speaking, you cannot live without money but you can definitely live even without romantic love.
- Money problems are more serious in a pragmatic sense, that’s why I don’t want it.
- In this world, you do need money to make a romantic relationship grow and survive.
How about you? Which situation would you rather choose?
Please note that I do not wish to oversimplify matters and I actually believe that love and money are indeed heavily interrelated (something that Dimaks also believes).
That’s why regardless of which side you’re on, it is more important to look behind everyone’s reasoning and realize the lessons being presented.
One is that unlike romantic relationships, our personal finance is something we have a lot of control on.
Love problems usually have complicated solutions while in most cases, budgeting and saving are all we need to go through financial difficulties.
Moreover, it is essential to see that if our finances are good, then we can focus more on finding and nurturing romance in our lives.
I’d like to thank my blogger friends, who shared their thoughts on this subject. Please subscribe to read more about life, money, and personal finance.
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Photo credit: cembas
For me it is better to have money problem than Love problem. If it is money there are lots of banks, Financers, friendsets.. that you can lean to..
But with Love problem it is very hard to heal..
Nice post Fitz 🙂
Oi.. I never knew that that plurk question would turn into a love-link post hehe.. nevertheless, very well elucidated post and I have stated my idea 🙂
Interesting question! I prefer to have money problems, because that’s something you can fix yourself – regardless of what your lovelife is like. But if it’s love problems, another person is involved and you have no control over it.
Besides, kung wala akong pera, maraming talbos ng kamote sa labas na pwede ko kainin! Hehehe.
Interesting. I think I would rather have money problems than love problems. Mas nakakaloka pag heartaches na eh. 😀
@Dex
I also would prefer to have money problems than love problems. Money problems challenges me to work and move, while love problems just makes me want to stay in bed the whole day. 😀
@dimaks
Thanks for answering my plurk. 😀
@Frugal Pinoy
Yup, that’s something I love about the Philippines. Madaling mabuhay kahit walang pera. Hehe.
@Laarni
I agree. Heartaches affects us more.
“it is essential to see that if our finances are good, then we can focus more on finding and nurturing romance in our lives.” -I completely agree with this Fitz.
as of now, i’m enjoying the “kilig” moments with my boyfriend. we just started the relationship almost three months ago. and if you would ask me, i’d rather have money problems than love problems now. take note: hypothetical lang po. Sana naman di ako magkaproblema sa pera sa mga darating na araw, buwan at taon.
Tama nga sila, mas madaling lutasin ang problema sa pera kasi material lang naman ito, but love? Naku… mahirap yata problemahin yan. Kasi ako, pag nagka-heartache… nagsa-shopping, gumigimik, nag-iinom, nanonood ng sine, nagfu-foodtrip, nag-a-out of town, naglalagalag… at hindi lang ako mag-isa, nagsasama ako ng friend/s. xempre sagot ko sila sa expenses dahil isinama ko sila sa pagsisentimiento ko. mas magastos yata un. baka mamroblema din ako sa pera kapag namroblema ako sa puso, db?
kaya sige, money problem nalang ang pipiliin kong magkaroon ako. at least, happy ang love life ???
Interesting question, Fitz. I would prefer having love problems kasi yung money problems sawa na ako e. Bata pa lang ako, problema ko na yun.
I was once broken hearted when I was younger and still single, and I thought ikakabaliw ko na, di naman pala. Actually, eto ako at masaya sa piling ng asawa ko after 12 years of marriage.
Although pwedeng utangin yung pera pag walang wala ka, nakakasawa din.
Yung love problems, kaya mo nang i-solve pag nalagpasa mo na ng isang beses.
Just my thoughts though.
Thanks!
@Lee Angelo
Thanks, that’s me talking from personal experience. 😀
@Nicely
Yup, I agree. Parang mas magastos nga kapag may love problems. Hehe.
@Angel
Nice to hear from you again. I believe it’s also the same for money problems, it gets easier as you learn to cope with your finances. You’ll tend to handle future financial obstacles better than before.
Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts.
awwwwwwwwww all of the messages really true either money problems or love problems
I met a man a few years back and for the first time in my life I found someone that I was extrememly compatible with and the romance never changed. It was exciting without this man on day one. It was exciting four years later. I was extremely proud to stand by this mans side. It was the first time in 25 years I ever felt this way in my entire life. At 50, after being married to my childhood sweetheart for 25 years, I had no idea what love emotionally and physically ever was. I was an emotional wreck thinking that I would never find love again and could not survive without my husband that didn’t love me anymore of 25 years. I was wrong about that. The four years I was together with my dream man that I loved we only had one problem. He didn’t pay his bills. There were bills piled up that I found that had never been opened. People were knocking on my front door with courtorders for the love of my life to go to court for creditors that were suing him for the thousands of dollars that he owed. Trying to get him to help out financially when he was with me was like pulling teeth. His paycheck was his paycheck. But me and my beautiful home he moved into that I worked my entire life for and was willing to share with this man must have meant nothing to him. For me it was the first time ever feeling this kind of love. For him, I am sure he pleased many. I begged him to take care of the financial problems he had for the four years I knew him and find a regular job that would at least support himself and he would not do it. He has moved back with a friend and his friends family. I miss his touch and conversation everyday. That is what brings me here. Is love and compatibility more important that financial stability. Until I met this man I always thought financial stability was more important. But now without him in my life I am doubting what is more importannt. Love versus financial stability.
For me according to my experience I’d ratherr no love life than have no money i need money to buy my basic needs specially if you don’t have income ,undergraduate to earn higher salaries.If you are financially stable opportunity including love is nearer.
I’d rather have money problems than love problems. Yung money problems madaling masolve. Madaming paraan para kumita ng pera. Kailangan lang maparaan at masipag. Whereas love problems, naku, it can paralyze you and can leave you crying. T_T
I think ang importante when you look for a partner is that you share the same beliefs when it comes to finances. I’m more than 2 years in a relationship now and money was hardly a problem. Nung bago pa lang kami we spent a lot dining out, watching movies and etc. Then we had a financial setback. Nawalan ako ng trabaho then kumonti ang clients niya. So we had to adjust our lifestyle. From watching movies (almost every week), we watched dvd’s and cooked our own food. Our dates are also more productive. We work while we spend time together. #workation. We worked harder and smarter so our income slowly went back up. More frugal na ngayon even if we have more income because we learned our lesson and we openly talk about money. We are contented and happy with the simple things. We are also going back to saving and investing. Never pa kami nag away dahil sa pera. Of course hindi ko alam pag mag asawa na, baka mas mahirap na. hehe.
Money problems can actually bring you to love each other more. You just have to get past it and believe in each other’s ability to earn money. 🙂 Wag magtatampo dahil hindi ka nai-date sa mamahaling restaurant. haha! Be happy and be grateful sa kung anong maibigay niya sayo. For all you know, baka binigay na pala niya sayo yung lahat ng meron siya. 😉
We simply cannot eat love! If you have money, you can share it and it is like sharing and giving love. Having romantic love is just a bonus.
I think Financial stability will lessen relationship problems. Happy wife, happy life!
True love in your life makes you both stronger. My first bride and I had 27 years together before God called her home. We did not have a lot of material things when we started but every year we continued to build on our beginning foundation. It is now 15 years later after she passed and I am over 3 years into my second marriage. I can you you all honestly that my second wonderful bride and I had some obstacles to overcome but money was never an issue. It is true I took a financial hit when my first wife passed but after all the bills were paid the equity curve has gone in the correct direction each and every year. Guess what, life is really taking off these days as my beautiful wife works diligently to create new revenue streams and helps me keep our financial house in order. I choose true love first and the rest will fall into place IF you work at it. Here is a quote from Wally Amos, the creator of Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies: “money is like a river, see where it is flowing from, wade out into the flow and let it come to you. “