How To Make Friends Pay Back The Money They Owe You

Posted by Fitz Villafuerte under Life Lessons on October 14, 2008

A friend asks if he could borrow money from you. He promises to pay by next month. You, being a good friend, loaned him some cash to help ease his financial burdens.

That was a month ago and now, your friend is avoiding you. Whenever you get a chance to talk to him regarding his loan, he would give you an excuse about not having enough money yet and promises to pay you back as soon as possible.

This cycle could go on for several months. As a result, the friendship slowly turns sour and feelings get hurt. What used to be a great relationship becomes an emotional burden. Each month that the loan remains unpaid, you lose more hope on getting your money back. Consequently, feelings of anger and resentment towards your friend begins to consume you.

Is this situation familiar to you? If you were this person, how would you make your friend pay back what he owes? In your life, have you ever experienced ending a friendship because of money? How did you handle it?

Many times in our life, we would be asked by a family member or a friend if they could borrow some money. Reasons may differ but almost always, it’s our intention to be a good friend that moves us to extend a helping hand.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

This is a famous line from Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Although I don’t totally subscribe to this advise, it does make a good point, doesn’t it? I remember a few months back, I wrote an article here on what to do when friends are trying to borrow money from you. Do you remember that post?

Anyway, in that article, I said that you should only lend out money which you can afford to lose. So if you find yourself having a difficult time getting paid back, then you can just let go. Yes, just forget about the loan.

Assess your financial situation and determine if you really need the money. If not, then it might be wiser to just let go. Forget about the money and take the lesson instead. Let go of the anger, don’t blame yourself for being so trusting and move on.

Of course you shouldn’t give up and let go without trying to resolve the situation. Here are some of the things you can do to make friends pay back the money they owe you.

Give reminders
Remind them about the loan a few days before his promised date of payment. Don’t feel awkward in doing this. A friendly email or a simple text message telling him that you need the money he promised for a personal obligation will not appear rude at all.

Set a specific date for the payment
When your friend fails to pay on the agreed day. Ask for a specific date when he can finally pay. Don’t take vague responses such as “next week” or “as soon as I get this money I’m expecting.” Also, the new date should be at most, two or three weeks away. Anything longer might encourage your friend to procrastinate in coming up with the money. And again, remind him about the loan a few days before the payment date.

serious talk How To Make Friends Pay Back The Money They Owe You

Set a serious talk
In my opinion, when your friend is trying to delay the payment for the third time, the best thing to do is to sit down and have a serious and honest talk about the situation. Be straightforward and calm. Sincerely ask him the reason why he’s having a hard time meeting the payment deadline. Don’t be emotional during this talk. Instead, maintain a straight face and objectively offer him options such as:

  • Giving partial or staggered payments in shorter intervals (this amount every week, etc.)
  • Paying you in kind such as giving you things he owns with the same value (suggest what you want in exchange, but be reasonable)
  • Doing some errands such as buying your weekly groceries (at least you get to save some of your personal time instead)
  • Other options such as working part time in your business is also possible (just be creative and try to arrive at a compromise)

Should you pursue legal action?
If the money involved is a large sum and your friend is really being uncooperative. You can consider taking legal action. But before you do, I advise that you rethink everything and determine if it’s really worth it.

Your friend is innocent until proven guilty, which means you would have to substantiate evidence that he has indeed borrowed money from you and promised to pay it back. Fortunately, verbal agreements can be binding in the absence of a written contract although this evidence tends to be weak in court. Also, do consider that the law is complicated and anything could happen in the end.

What happens to the friendship?
It’s totally up to you to decide if you’ll still remain as friends after everything that has happened. Despite the fact that I’ve already seen so many friendships end because of money, I’ve also witnessed a handful who were able to survive this unpleasant experience and continue with the friendship as if it never happened.

How about you? What are your thoughts regarding this matter? What else would you advise someone who’s having difficulties with unpaid loans from friends? Please give them below as a comment and let’s share ideas.

Lastly, if you’d like to receive more life lessons about money, then please subscribe to Ready To Be Rich.

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Photo courtesy of go-bunny

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55 Responses to “How To Make Friends Pay Back The Money They Owe You”


  1. this article was great kuya, thanks for tips mukhang kakailanganin q to, hehehe, ;)

  2. Angel Cuala says:

    Well, I think this is more common to us Filipinos as we are known to be “magaling makisama”. We easily lend money to our friends, neighbors and worst, relatives. I must admit I also borrow sometimes….he! he! he! But of course, I already paid them.

    Anyway, I think not paying to debts has many valid reasons and it is up to both to settle their issue in a friendly way. After all, I think this is a good way to test the authenticity of their friendship.

    When I got my Seperation Pay about 3 weeks ago, my “friends” increased rapidly since some of them thought I got rich. Although I lend some of them, I choose them carefully based on necessity and capability and hopefully, I did not make a mistake.

    My advise, take the risk to help others and trust them as long as it is really necessary. Being a GOOD SAMARITAN pays off, as it is better than we are the ones who cannot pay.

    Someday, they will pay you maybe not by money, but by good deeds.

    Thanks!

  3. Cade Krueger says:

    Fitz,

    I really appreciate this post. I think another thing that you can give away that can be just as bad as money is time. I felt that I have often given this away to business partners or other people I have friendships with only to not receive something in return. That sounds super selfish, but when you ask that person for something when you need help it would only be the right thing to do.

    I have realized that you have to move forward and continue to make money or make your time more effective because you can’t control others in the end (minus legal action which can waste more time). I think that is why it is so important to be goal oriented and driven. I preach that on my site http://writetoright.com. It is hard to live by it. Thanks for all the good points. I look forward to more articles. Let me know if you want to do a link trade.

  4. Fitz says:

    @Gusher
    No problem. Mukhang maraming may utang sa iyo ah. :D

    @Angel
    Thanks for sharing your story. I agree, some people, specially Pinoys, find it hard to say no because of “pakikisama”. I personally think that there’s nothing wrong in helping others financially as long as it doesn’t take you at risk. Just know your personal limits when lending money to friends.

    @Cade
    You’re absolutely right. Time is also a resource that we should be aware not to give too much of to others unless we can afford it. Thanks for sharing this thought and good luck on your blog. I’ve seen and subscribed to it. Hoping to see more interesting posts there. :D

  5. Great post and some sound advice. Dealing with friends over money can be a very hard thing to do. The emotional element is what makes it hard. By asking for your money back you somehow feel that you are being a bad friend.

    It’s not easy.

  6. GiGiG says:

    As a girl, in junior high and high school, it was clothing.

    Now, as an adult, it’s money. I absolutely enjoyed this post. Who hasn’t found themselves in this situation? I learned my lesson a few times (too many); but one situation sticks out in my head. I loaned one of my lovely, and dear friends $300 to help her pay for her rent. I should have known not to–the girl had serious disposable income, a girl with no money has no business owning Prada, Gucci, Chloe, or Pucci, unless she did, right? I loaned her the money anyway. I never saw the money again. I blew it off–she was spending unbelievable amounts to be a bridesmaid in my destination wedding, so I figured it was a wash.

    However, I since moved away from that city and when I came back for a visit, she let me stay with her. She treated me to two dinners. AND she gave me one of her expensive designer dresses (worth well over $300) that she never wore (tags still attached).

    Summary: Our friendship was worth so much more than $300. She’s bad with money–I shouldn’t bare the burden–but I know that now. She has not asked me to loan her money since. I think she knows better to not jeopardize our friendship.

  7. Jason says:

    Lucky me, lahat ng pinapautang ko, nagbabayad. Hahaha!

  8. Trips says:

    I lent $2000 to a friend in Jan 2008 when she was undergoing some financial difficutlies. In Jan 2009 I asked her to payback the money, not all at once, but in installments. She claimed that the IRS was garnishing her paycheck and she was barely making ends meet. I plan to ask her to start making payments again next month. She hasnt broken ties with me or avoided me. But she has a poor credit history and I am very afraid that I will never see the money again( The IRS had to garnish her paycheck to get what was owed to them in the first place!) Right now I am unemployed and though my husband has an income, we could definetely use the $2000 which was ours in the first place!

    I honestly think I have been patient for long enough and really hope she does not take blatant advantage of my kindness.

  9. Fitz says:

    Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. It’s really much appreciated. :D

  10. Segun says:

    What really pisses me off about some friends is assuming that you don’t really need the money they owe. They believe you earn well enough to do away with the money

    I think it is utterly irresponsible of friends to be reminded of what they owe you. It’s a lot pleasing for the friend to, once in a while, mention the fact that he owes you, and that he is trying to pay you back.

    Forgetting about the money owed can be hard. I have a couple of friends owing me some money. The individual amounts are small, but all add up to good money that I can use.

  11. ana says:

    nahihiya akong maningil.

    Kasi ako pag may utang nagbabayad kagad ako, hindi ako makatulog pag may utang ako sa iba. That’s why i expect my friends to be the same with me too.

    Lesson learned talaga ang dami kong ganyan lalo na sa relatives na mas matatanda pa sakin. And I agree with you, you only lend money you can afford to lose. Para pag hindi nabayaran di sasama ang loob mo.

  12. Sky says:

    this page is a good way to get back the money my friends owe me.
    it is very irresponsible for friends that ask for money, and when you are kind to give them, thay wont give you back.they say a bunch of f*ucking excuses and in the end, some people give back, some dont. we should never lend people money unless you are willing to part with it or u trust that person. my friends owe my money and they keep saying “end of this month” “everyday five $2″ but they never.

  13. Valentino says:

    Very good article ;),

    I really can see my own problems in this.

  14. l says:

    i just read this post

    i lend my friend around £13.000
    i let her stay with me for 3 month with no paying £0.01 becuase she sold her house and she lost evrything.
    I help her as much as i can. done evything for her
    the money which she lent with promes that will get back in 2-3 weeks
    she start being very bad to me and all my friends
    so i ask her to leave my flat, i cant stand this any more.

    i lern that never lend money to a friend and im shure that i will be have a lot of provblems to get the money back

  15. Angie says:

    Oh oh this sounds like me.

  16. Sarah Mitchel says:

    I’ve had friends ask me to spot them several times. They always seem to forget to pay me back even though when they ask me to spot them they say they will pay me back right away. I’ve been put on the spot to pay for them. I have a hard time saying “no” besides they make me feel like I can’t say “no” because they are going to pay me back right away. It’s rare they actually do pay me back. Sometimes they forget and then later ask to borrow again. It’s very hard to say “no”. Any ideas on how to say no from the beginning w/out coming across mean or untrusting?

  17. Paul Edwards says:

    Use the web site at http://www.PayMePlz.com to send automatic email, sms and voice reminders to people who owe you money.

  18. TheUsedFriend says:

    I have a friend who is always broke when it comes to paying me back. He says his salary vanishes the day it arrives.
    Still he always has the money to buy the best brand of clothes, phone, car accessories, and even booked flat in the best township.

    Its not the loss of money that pinches me, its the question if he considers me a friend or an idiot. I hate being used. I also happen to be the one who pays all the time be it parking tickets, restaraunts and so one. I mean if I want such friends, they better be girls !!!

    Its been about 3 years since I lent him that money but now I am reminding him more frequently and I hope I get the money back in a week.

  19. gordon pollock says:

    THIS HAPPENED LAST YEAR AND I STILL DONT HAVE IT!

    it all started when i sent my ‘friend’ £75 via internet banking for a car battery and several minutes later it turned out he didn’t need it afterall. as a good friend i avoided the situation hoping he’d pay me back because its the right thing to do!!!!!!!!!!!

    several days later still no money back… i text him about it but he ignores me, i go round his house and he never brings it up (i dont want to because im the good friend!)

    WHY CANT PEOPLE PAY BACK MONEY! ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, ITS NOT YOUR MONEY ITS MY MONEY! NOT PAYING BACK MONEY FROM FRIENDS IS AS WORSE AS A THIEF TAKING YOOUR MONEY! ITS DISGUSTING!!

    IT PROVES HOW MUCH MY FRIEND THINKS OF ME! – A BIG STEAMING PYLE OF POO!

  20. maddY says:

    it feels good to know that im not alone on this one..
    i dont wanna lend money anymore, i felt like
    i was taken advantage of.. they will keep on pestering you
    until you give them money and then pretends to be suffering from
    amnesia the next day. damn it. >.<

  21. kim says:

    I think its (for me anyway) not so much about the money, its that the friend in question does not value my friendship or respect me enough to pay it back, or if she cant at least make contact and try and sort something…… Shes has been avoiding me for a long time, and so yeah thats a bit disappointing when someone you thought was a good mate, decides avoiding fronting up with a few hundred is more important to them than retaining your friendship (and I told her she could take as long as she needed so it is not that she does not have it – she has money to buy other things I cant afford!)

    Im crap with money and bills myself – but do draw the line at friends – because i feel that if I loan from a friend and dont pay them back or at least try to, and then let themknow if there are problems, that its sending my friend a pretty strong message about how much I do NOT value or appreciate their friendship…..

    So for me I havent even bothered trying to get the person to pay me back – having said that it was a few hundred, had it been a few grant I would not be able to just write that off. But the few hundred I am owed, it would be nice to have it back, but it would be nicer to have her respect me enough to pay it back without being asked…and yes she knows it…..

    so I wont be taking any action – whats the point, she knows she is in the wrong I don’t need to say or do anything to inform her of that, why waste my time…hope burns a guilty hole in her conscience every time she buys something that she doesn’t need, rather than paying me what she owes.

  22. harry says:

    IS an email from the friend describing the exact amount he owes you and his obligation to pay up proof in court?

  23. dang says:

    thanks kuya for this post,,,ask for me nahihiya nga ako maningil sa kanya and also she’s trying to AVOID me ayaw nyang sumagot sa mga text ko huhuhu…

  24. Maris says:

    ako i asked them firstly kung utang ba talaga na babayaran pa o hingi na lang. kasi kung up to 500 lang at hiningi na lang ok na sa kin para di na ko mag-eexpect pa. Pero pag sinabing babayaran pa, then syempre umaasam pa rin ako na babalik. Ngayon kung di na bumalik, sa kanila na yon…no hard feelings na lang.

  25. meri says:

    in Philippines, if you lend it to your family or friends…just say goodbye to your money that you lend to them coz you will not see it anymore…no matter how much you trust them…trust will be broken by money..and in Philippines…you cannot sue them coz its useless..you are just wasting your time and money of suing them..so useless..

  26. David Smith says:

    PostaDeadbeat.com is public service and we exist to provide reminders to those who owe you. “List Who Owes You and Get Paid”. No cost to list. I tried it with promising results.

  27. Gowri says:

    I had lent 1,50,000 rupees to one of my closest friend, who said he needs it to get his father recover from heart problem. He ditched me also :( Later he kept on postponing to give it back, which inturn put me into big/huge troubles. Its been 3 years now, still he is keep telling me that he will give me in 1 month. I am in a mess, i do not know how to get out of this. Please help me. :(

  28. Mr M Afzal says:

    Hi here’s my story.

    I sold a brand new laptop to my cousin 2 years ago. I did not take any profit from him. It had a years warranty which is now expired. In the 2nd year of ownership his daughter broke the laptop by dropping it on the floor. He came back to me saying send it to the manufacturer to get it fixed but the warranty has expired.

    So he gave it to a local shop who further screwed it up. So he came back to me pleading that his daughter needs a laptop to do her homework. Being a cousin I lend him my laptop until his gets fixed. It’s been over a month now. I talked to him a couple of days ago and he was blaming me for his broken laptop saying that when he purchased it with a warranty and it should get it fixed frm them and no mention of my laptop.

    Iv asked for my laptop back number of times, by phone and text but he says he will but says I am in the wrong bcos I didn’t send it to the manufacturer to get it fixed, how can I the warranty has expired and I think accidental damage was not covered anyway.

    Iv got the proof of where I purchased my laptop. Iv got proof of our text chats asking for laptop back. How can I get it back? It’s worth £250. What advice would you give me?

    Thank you in advance.
    Afzal

  29. googler says:

    Thanks for this helpful tips.
    I am having problems now asking my friends to pay back the money the owe me.

  30. dan says:

    cause damage to property which amounts to a similar value that the person owes you, just make sure you are smart – dont get caught. If they wont pay up atleast you’ll get satisfaction of knowing they have to cough that money up for something hahah

  31. denise says:

    I am in this situation now. I suggest when weighing the option of loaning someone some money you should think about if they had the money to pay back then they would not be asking you for it. Also think about the fact that there are other options. One could set up a payment plan, they could take out a loan, they could exaust other options. Think about the what would they do if you were not here or around? How would they get the money? They will find a way. Also you should think about the amount of money you are trying to lend out. Can you really afford it if they dont give it back, i COULDN’T. Luckily I did the transaction on my card and was able to dispute the charge with the bank. So i basically took legal action. But you have to weigh if that is worth it or not.

    My advice, if you have to ponder it a lot and worry if you are going to get it back, you might not want to loan the money. Go with your gut!

    Good Luck.

  32. purple says:

    for your peace of mind, give it as financial assistance whatever you can afford, sort of a compromise; tell your friend to just pay when he is able to. although at the back of your mind, it would not be returned. then just observe..or maybe simply forget all about it.. expect a return engagement because there are people who abuse..then if it seems to appear that way, this particular friend maybe beginning to be a pain in your neck….think it over

  33. Cleese78 says:

    I had a friend once who needed $500 to pay off his rent. I kindly obliged. Granted, I had the “more than friends” feelings towards this person and jumped to the opportunity to hand it to him. However, I ensured a promissory note was signed with terms and conditions with a payback date was drawn up. I had not seen a dime for months until I had threatened him with the note. I had only seen half of this wired over to me. It is now over 2.5 years and I have still not seen the full amount – although he jumped to the opportunity to pay it after I had called the friendship off. It was a true power stance for him and I was tired of feeling my blood boil everytime I talked with him and nothing was brought up by him at all for the amount that was owed. To me it wasn’t about the money, it was about the principle – not taking accountability or responsibility and taking the friendship for granted. I was not respected and valued as as friend. I am a good person and felt it was time to take a stance against these assholes who step all over good people like us. Funny – He insisted at paying me back after continuously texting me and I finally told him that if it will make him feel better to send the cheque in the mail. That was 6 months ago and no cheque. Turns out he needed the money for his cocaine habit he had to keep up. Oh well. My advice – go ahead and lend the money – which is a true test of friendship – if they pay it back – they are worth keeping. If they do not – you will know they were never a friend to begin with. I am glad I was able to see this through this unfortunate way.

  34. Lee says:

    help!
    a friend borrowed a serious amount of money from me,
    he took advantage and came to me when I was vulnerable and really needing a friend to talk to about other matters and I was seriously exhausted. Then he basically stayed away from me after that, avoide me… didn’t mentione the money thing until the month that it was due, 3 months later… and after that he changed his number and won’t answer my previous calls or emails. etc….
    I went to the house and his family tells me to leave.
    I loaned him taht money out of the kindess of my heart and the trust that it would be paid back or at least trusted that he would communicate with me,, offer something,, no matter how small evem of if it was 10 dollars a month… and he knows I need the money and I explained that the failure to repay the loan has put my life and healthy in jeopardy many times and has causes sad consequences.. causing me a great deal of stress..

    It seems that he took the money and ran,,, and disregarded my personal well being… it seems i will never see the money.
    I can’t call cuz he changed his number ( has done that before to avoid people or companies calling)..

    I am very hurt. and the consequences of the times that I have needed that money .. have resulted in very very hard times for me.

    yes I know I should have not and never will loan money again. I learned my lesson so please dont’ point out the lessons i have learned.. I got that part down..

    but what are some legal ways for revenge? legal and safe..
    forget small claimes,, I did that,, he did not show up, judgement against him.. but that does not get my money back .

    lets be creative.

    this person is trash for what he did to me.

    please help me find safe and legal ways of revenge.

    forget wage garnish,, he works under the table.

    help!

  35. Pauline C says:

    I surfed the net cos I jus cant focus on my studies for a state exam tomorrow. Yesterday would have been I mth exactly that my friend said he would pay me back the $S1K he borrowed on 15Feb 2012. Previous times, he had borrowed n returned on time n on one occasion he still owed me $270 from the $1K he borrowed. He asometimes asked for $1.5K but I told him ATM can only dispensed $1K n he’s OK with that. I tried man times to teach him hw to spend within his means or jus hint to him but he just shrugged it off. He havent paid me the $4995 he borrowed baCk in 2004. Can Someone pls tell me wat to do. The latest $1K I loaned him on 15Feb 2012 was meant for m mum. He said his case was more important n that he would pay me on time. How now?

  36. rob says:

    I been a victim of this a few times and have learned my lesson, I will never lend money to friends ever again and I don’t care how bad they need it. I use to feel bad about saying no when asked to loan a few dollars and I honestly can’t remember if anyone has ever paid me back. I have no problem saying no anymore, I never ask anyone to lend me money before and I shouldn’t have to help out someone who is irresponsible, let them blow they’re money and suffer….how else will these assholes learn. If you are like me and have a hard time saying NO just tell them you are broke every time they ask…trust me they will stop asking eventually and move on to the next victim…I tell everyone I’m broke and I owe a lot of nice things and I don’t care if that makes them wonder lol

  37. Unyo says:

    well this is one way to get even with your swindler ‘friends’. tell them that you are giving your receivable to the local siga in their neighborhood. the local siga can collect however he likes–it’s him they will owe now. broken fingers, broken ribs, broken kneecaps—your swindler friends’ choice. it’d be nice to videotape the collection process, so you can watch it over and over and over on youtube…ang have a good laugh each time. a childhood friend of mine, after tracking me down on facebook, borrowed money. a year later, she has wan-tu-tri and vanished into thin air. i pray to God that someone will find her laying in a ditch, half-eaten by worms. may Satan take her soul. God bless me for my squandered cash.

  38. Pauline C says:

    Hi Rob, God its so hard to say no when we have been childhood friends for years! It hurts when your close friends take our kindness as weakness. They disappeared once we lent money! But still I will try to say NO. Today is already 28 March 2012 n still no calls not even a simple sms from him that he will pay me back. Oh Unyo,I cant bear to see broken body parts – too gruesome. Anyway, I am very broken up already from not receiving the money he promised to pay in less den a month ie by 15 March. I in turn avoid calling or visiting my mum cos I don’t have the S$1K to give her. I have not been working for 2yrs already so I had to scrimped daily from the S$500 my husband gave me monthly for my 4kids expenses n myself expenses etc to reach S$1K in 10months to give my mum. I really need my S$1K back. I dare not tell my husband I lent my stupid friend money or he will kill me for being too naive. It really hurts to be nice.

  39. lost_money says:

    some people donno the value of money and don’t deserve anything in life!

    Admin Note:
    I apologize if I have to edit so much of your comment. Kindly accept my sympathies on your situation. I wish you well. Thank you.

  40. mod says:

    i lent money to a “friend” and now he disappeared and changed his phone number. i dont know where he lives either, but when i lent him the money.. he gave me his passport and some other stuff like money transfer info as a proof of trust. i want to know if i can use that as a proof to pursue him? would that be considered as evidence? it was a lot of money which i cant afford to lose!

  41. Pat says:

    I lent a friend $2,000 last Christmas because she and her husband were having hard times and she wanted to make a nice Christmas for her family. The agreement was to pay back $200 per month for 10 months (note, no interest) starting in Februaruy. The due date was the 15th of each month. As I have NEVER received a payment on time (by the 15th) I always have to send a reminder email. I did so yesterday, it being June 21 and no payment made for June. I was told that I have become a nightmare, badgering this person every month for money like she was a criminal. I was never so insulted or hurt in my life. I told my friend to keep the money (balance of $1,200) and to never contact me again. Our friendship is over. I have learned a very important lessen and have been badly hurt while learning it. C’est la vie…never again…

  42. Danny says:

    some years ago an elderly lady in her sixties, she’s a retired teacher but still active as insurance and real estate agent gave me this piece of advice: “huwag mong ipapahiram ang iyong pera. di bale na mawalan ka ng kaibigan kay sa mawalan ka ng pera at kaibigan.” She has a point in advising me this as I did have my bouts of loosing friends before she gave me this piece of advice.

  43. lea says:

    OMG!! i have a friend, well.. i HAD! I sold her some things i was selling on credit,as she promised to pay back the following week, and its a month now, and she dont call or even pick up my calls!! its crazy how people do the things they do! its my money bitch,i dont pick money in the streets damit!!!!!

  44. ishu says:

    i gave some rupees to my friend be4 one month bt till 2day she have not made such repayment it to me and i dont hv courage to tell her for such money coz i think that will effect my friendship wid her so plz tell me d way…….plzzzzzzzzzzzz

  45. Pwee says:

    My friend owed me 200K plus.. i don’t have any paper that proves he owed me that much.. now i want to be sure that anything happen on the future he will still pay me. What am i going to do? Please help me

  46. Fitz says:

    Hi Pwee. You need to have proof. Maybe you can email him asking about the loan and hope he replies back and acknowledge that he owes you that amount. I believe that is good enough proof for now.

    But if you want to take legal action, then I suggest you consult a lawyer or seek advise from the small claims court office regarding this matter.

  47. allen says:

    I actually had a problem with friends not paying back loans. What i decided to do was create a private lending contract that states the date of the loan and date that is to be paid back along with any interest if agreed upon on large amounts (be careful on interest you may have to pay taxes on it) but i went online to find the right kind of language to make it semi-legal (to help avoid the loan not being paid back)in case small claims court could be needed. it is signed by both the lender and the lendee and a witness for both. all it does is help hold them accountable for what they owe you while you may never intend to take it to court they know the option is there.

  48. Mercid says:

    True true! Lending money (and not getting it back) to a friend can cause the relationship to get sour. I am not a person who likes to hound people for the money that they owe me. In the end, I forget about their loans altogether. I am not the perfect friend but for me time is such a good healer that I still have good relationships with such friends. The friendship is still there but I never let them borrow money and they do not even ask from me anymore (Nahihiya na kasi). Bwahahahahaha! ^_^ (evil grin)

  49. rej says:

    this article is how I discovered your great blog! I gladly subscribed to your blog and I’m thankful for your email/updates. Thanks to you I discovered IMG Wealth Academy!

  50. AJ says:

    Hi,

    I online transferred Rs. 2,40,000/- to a friend on 22nd jan 2013, who assured me that he would return it by the 14th of April 2013.
    In April he said that he didn’t have the money and that he would pay me back the full amount on 31st May 2013. On 31st may he said that he didn’t have the money and would pay me back on the 25th of June 2013 and that all he could do was deposit Rs. 60,000/- into my account on the 31st of May 2013. He did deposit 60,000/- by cash into my account on 31st May 2013.
    On the 24th of June I reminded him via sms that he owes me 1,80,000/- and to please pay up as promised by him by depositing the sum into my bank account. On the 25th of June he replied that due to some unavoidable circumstances he cannot deposit the money into my account and he will deposit the sum on the 30th of June 2013 via cheque as he wants it for a track record. I sent him a sms saying that I would come and collect the cheque from his residence. He did not reply to that so on the 29th of June I went to his house and asked for the cheque to which he told me that he has already deposited the cheque into the drop box and since it is a Saturday the money will reflect into my account by Monday eve the 1st of July 2013. After checking with my bank on the 2nd of July 2013, I went to his house to ask him why he lied to me, but he didn’t open the door. I kept on ringing the door bell as I knew he was inside as the lights were on. He called the police and filed a complaint against me that I came to threaten him. The secretary of his building was present with me at all times and is witness that I did not threaten him in any way.
    At the police station he said to the police officer that he would deposit into my account Rs. 1,00,000/- on the 3rd of july and 80,000/- on the 30th of July 2013.
    He did not transfer any amount on the 3rd of July so I smsed him asking for an update to which he replied that he has not committed any such thing. I replied back saying that he said that he would deposit the sum into my account in front of the police officer and 2 constables, to which he replied saying that he will deposit the amount on the 4th of July 2013 by 1 PM.
    On the 4th of July he online transferred only Rs. 20,000/-.
    I sent him an sms asking him why only 20,000/- and when will he transfer the remaining amount? He didn’t reply to that so I called him on the 5th of July several times as he didn’t answer my call. He finally picked up and started yelling at me saying not to harass him, he has lodged a police complaint against me and will file another compliant if I don’t stop harassing him.
    I asked him to repay back the remainder of the money that is 1,60,000/- and I’ll stop calling him.
    He said that he has not taken any money from me and owes me nothing and the 2,40,000 that I had online transferred to him in Jan was money that I borrowed from him and not to call or text him anymore.

    What can I do to recover the money now that he is denying the very existence of the sum he borrowed from me?

    Please advice!

  51. Francis says:

    this is an encouraging posts that will ease the burden of collecting money from a friend or relative, thank you so much sir

  52. akshay says:

    Today one incident happened which caused me to open and read this article. One of my friend had told me to buy a t shirt from online website. Price was say 25 dollars. Now he is bloddy bargaining with me for 5 dollars and saying he will only pay 20 . I know 5 dollars doesnt matter to me. But I m hurt becoz this kind of blackmailing is pathetic and annoying.its about principles. Though u guys may laugh at this post saying why this fellow is crying for 5 bucks . Its not about the money anymore. Its about taking me for granted.its about carelessly saying everything is fair in freindship. He is a very good friend of mine from childhood . Am I being too selfish?? I am a businessman and I cant stand someone not paying me my money even if it is a small amount. What should I tell him so that he gives me my money back???

  53. amanda says:

    The guy whom i dated borrowed, A sum of 5000 saying that he was going to buy medication since he is a doctor …his finacial status was not stable at that time. I give him the money without any papers signed and no witness . Then he promiced to give it back on the following month which way may . Then on may when i asked for my money he said he will give me on the 15 of may …i waited but on the 15th of may he did take my calls and didnt respond to my masseges he even blocked me in whatsapp. Untill now he is avoiding me,he always drop his phone when i call him .he took the advantage of me since im young and he is in his early fourties. What must i do so that he can pay my money back…

  54. Ellen says:

    I used to be a trusting person when I was growing up. At the advice of my mother who would tell me to go ahead and help a friend out. My mother rarely saw what happened afterwards because she often turned a blind eye or would just shrug and say “well, maybe he has a reason”, or “ask him the next time”. I think that it sends out a negative message to people when the lender of time or money does not have any boundaries or no one to protect them. From my experience, if a parent is going to give advice and guidance to their kids, especially in a peer-centered environment, the parent should do so with their OWN children’s welfare in mind, FIRST. not the welfare other people without first knowing what the real motives are. So, I feel that if a friend borrows money, and won’t pay you back after constant asking when you will be paid back, it is time to let that person know that he/she has put you in a bad position by not repaying. Until the money is repaid, you need to cut back on favors. It might also be a good idea to let the friend know that if affects other areas, such as “because you haven’t paid me back, I won’t be able to give money to church or charity”, or “I won’t be able contribute towards a group gift for someone, or a group outing”. The same would also apply using someone else’s time. Set limits so that people are not able to take advantage. I learned this the hard way, and unfortunately, in the end you find out who your REAL friends are.

  55. OLI says:

    I’m a widow with two teenagers,,single income. My neighbour came to me crying saying she needs 1000 to pay repairs on car, both her and husband working ,3 kids, good neighbours so I said ok but will need Money in 18 months time for my daughter’s formal and other expenses. First few months. I got it in dribs and drabs but then stopped, 600 owing, deadline near, neighbour avoiding me, I see her, has tears in eyes telling me her husband only got 900 that week, he has good job too, go on lots of holidays, son at private school, all kids do heaps of sport, she gets her hair professionally done, got new cat, vet bills, I feel bad, back off, meanwhile bills come, am needing money, see her yesterday tells me they’re going on 3 week holiday putting animals in boarding, but cant pay me money owed, I cant sleep, am devastated, want my 18 year to have nice formal and end of year school celebration, pay for my sons dentist, dont know what to do

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